How to Read the Room

It’s about listening, sensing, perceiving about what’s being said – and what’s not being said.

Back in the day, when I’d go on sales calls with my teammates, I’d ask if it’s OK that they’d take the lead and that I’d serve as “Second Chair “- relating to the position of an instrument in an orchestra.

As “second chair” I’d take the focus of listening to not only what was being said, but what was unsaid. I’d listen to attune to how people are feeling at any given moment. This sensing includes not only what words are being spoken, but how they are spoken.

I’d check all the people in the room for signs of concurrence or objection. I’d check the physical expression of each person to see if it was congruent to what one was saying verbally. When we’d get back to the office to debrief the call, I’d offer this intelligence from my reading the room.

It astounded my colleagues. They had mostly been focusing on what they were saying and not fully perceiving the complete response of the potential client both verbally and non-verbally. I found it important to take the emotional temperature of the room.

To prepare for and to conduct an effective interaction, here are ways you can set it up to be able to read the room more successfully.

• Give your complete “undivided” attention to the people in the room

• Be fully present. It’s a deeper form of listening

• Have a clear objective to keep you and them on track

• Be well prepared with questions and comments

• Have them do most of the talking

• Rehearse ahead of time (therefore being able to focus on the client more than your content)

• Take your time. Set the pace to manageable

• Use the pause to listen for reaction – mostly non-verbal.

• Give room for the client to respond and react. Silence is a gift

It reminds me of what Miles Davis said. “It’s not what I played. It’s what I didn’t play, man.”

As an improviser, his music had pauses and timing (syncopation) that created the beautiful music we learned to love from him. It was between the played notes.

He was present. He was listening. He was responding in that present moment.

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There once was a senior leader in a top professional services firm who asked me if I could get his team to “read between the lines”? I said, “Yes, I can.”

You can too. It’s where you place your attention.

Image credit: Andy Makely for Unsplash

I have spots available in my coaching schedule if you’d like to explore this skill together with me. martha@presence-impact.com